Mum would have been celebrating her 60th Birthday this year on 3rd June. The 3rd June this year will also mark the 5th anniversary of her death from ovarian cancer in 2004.She passed away in Portugal following a family holiday in the early hours of her 55th Birthday. Mum was always big on birthdays; she already had received many cards at her home when she died as she had concealed the gravity of her illness from many friends and family. She liked to make our birthday’s special and James and I think it was no coincidence that she died on her own birthday. It seems impossible that 5 years have passed since I last heard her voice, smelt her perfume, laughed with her at the silly things she did or had a comforting hug in bad times or for simply no reason at all. People say that they know loved ones are there watching over them and many things have happened to me that lead me to believe it’s true. One of the first times this happened was a week after her memorial service when I was getting ready to meet a friend. At the memorial service we were pretty sure that the funeral directors had played the wrong track on the classical CD as we walked into church. It was supposed to be a Rachmaninov piano concerto. I hadn’t been able to listen to much music in those few weeks but I decided to put the radio on and a few minutes later realised that this exact piece of music was playing (i.e. the right one) from Classical FM.It was funny because I didn’t recall ever having the radio tuned in to that station. I promised mum that when her chemo was over and she was better that I would take her to New York, she’d never been to the States and although I had been, we both wanted to visit New York and see all the sights. Sadly we never made that trip but in September 2005, 15 months after she died I won my very first travel incentive trip at work. An all expenses paid trip to New York. Mum died in Portugal after a family holiday with me, my brother James, her partner Mervyn, Sister Diane and Brother –in –law Gerry. Most of the time she was too tired to enjoy the sunshine but we enjoyed some lunches by the sea, some champagne and time together. James was leaving the day before us and she stood waving him off on the steps of the villa. That night she deteriorated and was admitted to hospital the next day unable to fly. It seemed so sudden I couldn’t believe she wasn’t going to make it home. I firmly believe that she didn’t want James, then 20, to see her in her very final days, he planned to fly back out but she died before that happened. Looking back I’m so pleased that she was in a private hospital with a view of the Ocean and not some NHS ward. After she died all the Portuguese nursing staff stood around and said prayers, they were so kind and respectful something I will never forget. She wanted her ashes scattered and therefore we have no grave to visit, she hated cemeteries and all that went with them. I often feel close to her in Portugal and my first trip back there with another friend was perfect, the weather was hot, we met up with a group of golfers who were great fun, we sang on the karaoke and I created some new memories. I think of her every time I go to a garden centre, watch my brother perform on stage or am looking out of the plane window at 39000ft at the arctic landscape on a transatlantic crossing. Most of the time it’s happy memories that come back and in 5 years the pain of her not being here has lessened. Although there are still moments when I realise she’s not at the end of the phone and it can be like taking a bullet. James and I are planning to spend the day together on June 3rd remembering our special mother and hope we can enjoy some decent weather in London and visit some of the Royal parks.Mum obviously loved gardens and royalty!We are then meeting family for a celebratory meal and some champagne to remember her birthday and be thankful for her life. Please give what you can to this charity,Ovarian cancer is such a difficult disease to diagnose early and screening is in development.A donation could help save another mum,sister,aunt,daughter or friend.